While home visiting the parents, I stayed in my old room. Haven’t been back in five or six years. First thing I did was check under the bed.
The monster was withered, forlorn, near death from neglect. I offered, “You don’t look so good.”
It grunted weakly, “And you do? You need a haircut: you look like a girl.”
“Girls wear their hair short too. My girlfriend…”
The monster snorted in disgust. “Your girlfriend. I suppose you do all sorts of gooey romantic things with her.”
The monster shook it’s monstrous head. Slime dripped sloppily onto the carpet. “Disgusting.”