I don't want to spend every Christmas at your Mother's, and I don't think being a vegetarian is one of those things one should compromise on just to be polite to someone who would never compromise in return. And that egg nog is fucking repulsive.
It wouldn't hurt the kids' development for me to take a class one night a week, and it wouldn't hurt you to have to fix them dinner while I'm doing it. Make spaghetti. Jesus, how hard is that?
You need to be nicer to me. Especially when you're drunk.
I let Dwight Horseman kiss me once, in a weak moment, while you were away for work, and hated myself for years. That's why we stopped going to that church; I couldn't bear seeing him.
Go to the doctor. Every year. No stalling. If you don't, you'll get colon cancer and die and I'll be alone.