It's busy tonight.
Rocky is already there, at a booth in the corner, coke laid out in lines on the table, surrounded by glassy-eyed would-be model types in transition between humoring him and ensorcelled by him. Wen dances, glimpses of her small frame flashing from within a sea of moving bodies. Coral leans against the bar, drink in hand, daring men to approach her with her wry but icy stare. Gunnar won't show for another hour. Gunnar doesn't really go for the scene anymore.
I don't blame him. But there are rules.
Five of the several hundred people packed into this club will have a moment of terror and probably ecstasy and possibly death. Though, to be fair, a couple of those people may not even be here yet: Wen is fickle, and impetuous, and often changes her mind at the last minute. Gunnar will choose one at random, possibly one who's just walked in the door. Gunnar doesn't care.
Rocky will pick the prettiest girl he can seduce, which won't be the prettiest girl in the club or usually even at his table. Low self-esteem is Rocky's wingman. Coral will choose the one who earns it.
Mine will live, and so will Coral's. Rocky's usually lives, and so does Wen's, though her control is questionable. This might be one of those nights. Gunnar's will die.
Wen sees me and waves. I smile and nod and begin scoping the crowd. I don't always choose a woman, but—
"How are you?" Coral is at my elbow. She never talks to me until after, until the post-game. This is unusual.
"Shouldn't you be working your magic? You've only got an hour before Gunnar—"
"Gunnar's not coming."
"Gunnar was a liability. He made us more vulnerable." She fixed me with her eyes. I'm serious about this now. "I made an executive decision."
Meaning Gunnar is dust, somewhere, probably nearby, and I am not to make a scene. We don't have a leader, except for Coral.
nice! is this part of something longer? it's pretty good - especially the first paragraph!ReplyDelete
It's from a prompt from http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/ The prompt was 'club', meaning as a bar or a social club or organization. I picked both. ;-)Delete
This seems like a scene from a much longer work - I loved it!Delete
Thank you :-)Delete
"Low self-esteem is Rocky's wingman." Love that line! Very intriguing. Left me wanting to read more.ReplyDelete
I also like this line: Low self-esteem is Rocky's wingman.ReplyDelete
Cool take on the prompt!
Thank you very much for reading and commenting!Delete
Yep I add my admiration for the wingman line too. Splendid work and brilliant atmosphere.ReplyDelete
Thanks very much :-)Delete
Ooh interesting take on the prompt! I like the use of 'ensorcelled', and 'Gunnar is dust' especially. Kate (Trifecta Guest Judge)ReplyDelete
Thank you for reading and commenting :-)Delete
What a group of characters heh Gotta love the convenience of executive power...ReplyDelete
Creepy and wonderfully executed (pun intended) :)) Fantastic writing!ReplyDelete
Thank you very much!Delete
Power plays among vampires... fun! Seems to be at the core of any club.ReplyDelete
Also, Rocky's wingman.
Thanks for reading and commenting! :-)Delete
Ha, you scored with the wingman line so at the price of being redundant I'll add that I too thought it was great. Writers can't always drop you into the middle of a story and have it feel like you've been with the characters all along up to this point, but you managed it seamlessly. Very happy to have read it.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much! :-)Delete
wingman set aside I love the end particular... executive decision indeed ... Gunnar's a liability.ReplyDelete
Thank you very much for reading and commenting :-)Delete