I used to read comic books, did you read comic books? My favorite were origin stories. And not even the hero origin stories: I mean those were interesting and everything, but villain origin stories were always more fun. Somebody falls — or is pushed — into a boiling vat of toxins, or doses themselves with some goop they thought would make them super-strong, something like that. It never works out well.
I should have remembered that.
I just wanted to be the man you said you wanted; I guess it didn't work out. But I promise not to turn evil or whatever.